f r e s h s t a r t

Friday, May 13, 2005

The H word/Spastic declarations
Is anyone else afraid to admit to being happy? If you say that you're happy, do you give up your right to complain? If you say that you're happy and you look around at what your life is, will you lose motivation to work towards the goals that you've set up for yourself, because hey, you're okay with what you've got. A friend asked me last night if I was happy, she said that I seemed happy, and I couldn't get the words "Yes, I am happy" out. I could say, yes, I'm happier in a particular area of my life.
Seriously, what the hell am I waiting for? I don't know. I can own my own happiness, my own misery, my own plans, my own mistakes, and I can change my mind. By the way, I am going to law school, I'm going to Depaul, I'm going part-time for the first year, and I'm moderately excited about it. I hate pointy shoes, mid-calf length skirts, and the stupid thin layering t-shirts at the Gap this year. I hope to never, ever live in a high-rise building. I have a love/hate relationship with my car. I like beer and can't stomach girly-girl sweet drinks. I love wearing dresses. I think I will have some version of the same short/pixie/choppy haircut for the rest of my life (unless I'm in a coma and it has a chance to grow out without me having to be around for it). I always thought I would be a young mother, but that isn't happening now because it would be an absolute disaster. I decorate my walls with stolen street signs. I'm knitting a pink miniskirt that is going to take forever to finish. I'm happy.

07:59 1 comments

Comments:

I know our friendship circles tend toward the angsty type, but for god's sake - if you're happy be happy and be thankful for it. Life is too short and you owe it to all the people who have real reasons to be unhappy. Happy is not synonymous with being settled. I've actually always admired you, Eliina, for being genuine and unafraid to be happy. Just don't get sucked in :) lurvya -ttc

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Anonymous : 9:22 AM